A year in review. Just about everyone is thinking this thought today as we close out 2010. I started my blog journey only 5 months ago and it has been a fun ride. Learning to laugh again, appreciate my life more has all been a mixed blessing. My writing has given me so much healing. I have to admit I’m still scared, but it is getting easier. Putting your innermost thoughts down for the world to see is no easy task. Judgment, criticism, critiques, and absolute negativity can sweep in. Many will shut the door on you. It is not easy but for me, I needed to write.
Placing my trust in much bigger things enabled me to put my heart on the paper. Inspiration appeals to me. Growing in my faith as I write what I truly believe. Whether the negativity comes or the doors close on me, I will have my voice.
My presence is not known to many. My success will not be shared with celebrities. My favorite things are only unique to me, but my life needs to count for something.
If I have knowledge and do not share this, then I am an empty vessel. If I have understanding and do not give that, then I am not forgiving. If I have love and refuse to affirm it, then I am hollow. This is my calling, what I am supposed to do right now, in this season.
Random thoughts of kindness spread across the pages of my life. Feeling miserable and enlightened at the same time, I walk this path focused on one thing. My life in reflective mirrors bring me closer to the reality that within me there is so much more. Finding that in life, I will always be in a constant state of change, I cannot adhere to the old ways. Moving forward to the next phase of my life makes me present in this day and time.
Whatever you face in life, whatever makes you stronger, builds your character. This past year, I said way too many goodbyes. Over the course of 3 short months, I lost plenty. Saying goodbye to my mother was and still is the hardest thing to do. Her battles were my battles, her laughter brought tears to my eyes, and her struggles in life were solid. Defining her voice became my responsibility. Being her spokesperson became my blessing. Saying goodbye broke my heart.
Pouring my emotions out and spilling them all over the floor will take time to clean up. Reassurance that this too shall pass will dawn on me one day. Answers will come as long as I keep looking, feasting my eyes on inspiring blogs through out the seasons, providing wisdom to the nature of my heart. It doesn’t matter where I go in life, what turns I make, or what roads I take, it will always lead me down the right path. My journey is not over yet, so I plan to make the most of it.
Venture on . . . 2011. What do you have in store for me next year? I’m ready.