“A jealous and holy distrust of self may give rise to the question even in the believer’s heart, but the continuance of such a doubt would be an evil indeed. We must not rest without a desperate struggle to clasp the Savior in the arms of faith, and say, “I know whom I have believed, and I am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him.” Do not rest, O believer, till thou hast a full assurance of thine interest in Jesus.” – Charles Spurgeon
I’ve spent most of my growing life trying to please others. When I failed, I felt miserable. Perfectionism is not an easy task. I gave it all up when I turned my life over to Jesus. In my failings, in my times of sorrow, I turned it all over to Him. I realized years ago that I couldn’t do this on my own. As much as I tried, I never got it right.
Whether it was being the best wife, mom, or daughter, I continued to make mistakes. It became a burden. I looked for meaning wherever I could find it, but it always caught me off guard. Stumbling to find my footing, I was losing all my self-control.
Some years back I was in a car accident. It left me with a broken wrist. A painful turn of events that caused me great struggles. It was at a time when I was caring for my aging mother, when she needed me to help her in the bath and when she counted on me to take her blood sugar. I was unable to give her the help she needed. I became frustrated and angry. Losing myself to the anxiety I was sinking quickly.
A few years passed then my mother died. It grieved my heart deeply. I miss her terribly even now but I realize that everything in life happens for a reason. I would not be the person I am today if not having went through all these events.
My feet are set up the rock, my foundation is not shaken and my heart belongs to Jesus. I’m quite happy with all my past, the bad times as well as the good. For He gave me a gift. He blessed my life through it all. I never knew where I would end up but I’m so thankful I’m not where I once was.
Everyone in this life has an opportunity for a second chance. It doesn’t matter how old you are or what you did in the past, God accepts all for He loves all. Turn your life around and come to Jesus. For He is calling you. He knows your name. Can you hear Him?
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